I practiced this pose for hours

A couple weeks ago, I got a love note from the California Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV), stating that my driver's license was about to expire. The notice went on to say that since I'd renewed by mail for the past 10 years, I was required to come in and take a new picture. DOH! I think that aside from going to the dentist and eating liver, going to the DMV ranks pretty high on the "things I don't like to do" list. I was pleasantly surprised to find, however, that for the first time in my life, I actually had a good experience at the DMV.

First, instead of waiting in line with a bunch of grumps like I did 10 years ago, I simply made an appointment using the DMV's online appointment system which allowed me to choose a convenient time for an appointment to renew my license at the DMV closest to me. Luckily, the Pasadena DMV had an appointment slot available the very next day after I got my love note. Contented after making my appointment, I decided that since the license picture I'd be taking the next day would potentially be my picture for the next 10 years, I should practice my handsome man pose. While waiting in line to get my picture taken, the process got me to thinking -- IDs are interesting because they show the kind of person you were/are at the time the picture was taken. To illustrate, here are some examples of my IDs of the recent past:

Type: CA Driver's License

Pic Taken: 1995

The Look: Gotta Keep It Gangsta Yo

Description: I like to call this my "Thug ID". I was 17 with a big chip on my shoulder. I got upset if a guy even blinked at me funny. I personified the typical Norwalk/Cerritos Filipino of the era. I had a lowered Civic and bangs for goodness sakes! Smiling in a picture? Pshaw! You had to be have a constant scowl on your face just like Snoop Dogg.

Type: College ID
Pic Taken: 1997
The Look: Cool Guy on Campus
Description: I was about 19 in this picture, and by this time I had started to get my act together -- I actually got into college! When posing for this picture, I thought to myself, perhaps my thug pose will work on these college chicks as well! It didn't if you're keeping score. How could they resist these bangs and 24/7 hard to the core look?! =(

I do have a particular affection for this card as it still affords me the coveted student discount at the movies. I think I'll milk that discount till the day I die. SWEET.

Type: Work ID
Pic Taken: 2000
The Look: Smarmy Corporate Guy
Description: I was 22, fresh out of college and ready to make my mark in corporate America. I wanted to be sure to make a good impression on my first day, so I decided to get rid of my patented scowl. When the ID lady told me to smile, I had to will the 17 muscles it takes to smile out of atrophy. It's not too surprising that what came out was more of a smarmy smirk than a Colgate smile.


Type: Driver's License (present day)
Pic Taken: 2006
The Look: The Real Me
Description: Fast forward to present day. It's game time. As the ID lady at the DMV signaled me to smile, it became evident that the 2 hours of smile practicing the night before paid off. Result: pure Colgate baby!

There's only one person to thank for the resurgence of my pearly whites -- my girlfriend Rachel. I've been with Rach for about 4 years now, and one thing that she's taught me is the fine art of the smile. Rach is the reigning queen of the Colgate smile ... a veritable award for Ms. Photogenic in every picture. Peep our recent tag-team smile-a-thon below:

I'm one month away from being 29, and I have to say that overall, I'm a much more happier person than I was 10 years ago. This is due largely in part to the fact that I have much more to be happy about (great girlfriend, good job, got a house, etc). Something tells me that the patented scowl is retired for now ...

Hmm, what's that smell ...

For those of you in the know:

HAPPY 420

*A message from you friends at ephmaniago.com: While we do not condone the use of any illicit/illegal substances on this site (nor do we admit to partaking of the hippy cabbage ourselves), we do respect your right to eat copious amounts of Cheetos coupled with an Alberto's Carne Asada Burrito, all the while having a marathon Half-Baked viewing session.

Be on the lookout for my second post of April by end of week. I promise it'll be good. Till then!

Word of the Day - ses·qui·pe·da·lian

Wow, my first post of April! I'm proud to report that I've finally got used to the hour of sleep I lost all thanks to my best friend Daylight Savings Time. Onward post!

Language ... words. They fascinate me. It just trips me out that out of the vibrating flesh & sinew that are your vocal chords, comes forth thought, feeling ... communication!

I personally speak three languages with varying levels of fluency: English (Greetings & salutations!), Kapampangan (kumusta naka!), and bad/ghetto English which I am particularly fluent at (wuttup dawg, wuts cracken!).

I even have favorite words:

u·biq·ui·tous, adj. - being or seeming to be everywhere at the same time.

co·nun·drum, n. - a paradoxical, insoluble, or difficult problem; a dilemma.

con·stan·ti·no·ple, n. - the largest city and former capital of Turkey (my very first big word, taught to me by Dr. Seuss in his literary masterpiece Hop on Pop).

I also like fake words:

ex·pec·to pa·tro·num - this conjures the mighty Patronus spell of course! (yes I'm a closet Harry Potter geek).

bro·seph n. - brother+ joseph, a tag word similar to dood or man, first coined by Jack Black in Anchorman.

your word of choice + fart v.- faft (fart + laugh), shart (sh*t + laugh), etc.

A random polling of favorite words from friends resulted in the following:

wasps, n. - a wasp is any insect of the order Hymenoptera and suborder Apocrita that is not a bee, sawfly, or an ant. (Rachel likes this word because of the way the 'sps' part of the word sounds. How do you use this word in its possessive form? Wasps'es? If you find out, let me know, it's been killing me.)

re·tro·min·gent, a. - organized so as to discharge the urine backward (submitted by Frank Noz -- I think I know people who are organized this way, especially those who frequent Gas station bathrooms, yuck)

pu·ke, n. - the Tagalog slur for vagina. (confidently submitted by Carlene's Mom, ain't she great haha)

ses·qui·pe·da·lian, adj. - given to the use of long words (submitted by Ted, my all-knowing co-worker. I just wish there was a cuss word this long - how bout' fukquipealianitch!)

If you enjoy words and language as much as I do, peep these links:

Dictionary.com - a must for all word-o-philes. Sign up for their word of the day service while you're there.

Swearsaurus - Traveling overseas? Wanna cuss out your best bud in Punjabi? "Hey eph you Pra-chodh (brother humper)". Learn to swear like the locals do! I especially enjoyed their vast Tagalog selection: Ganito ka ba talaga kabaho? Translation: Do you really stink this bad? LOL. *Sorry this site looks like it has some p0rn ads, so surf at your own risk.

UrbanDictionary.com - Don't understand what I'm saying half the time? Then this be the site for you cuh.

Well, I better quit now before I get too sesquipedalian. This is one of Genee's biggest pet peeves (check out Genee's rant on this subject in the middle of her latest post).

Any that I missed? Please share with the class!