Tasty Treats

I nearly fell off my rocker when I found out that a couple of my friends have never celebrated Halloween. Perhaps it's because of the negative connotation of Halloween being a celebration of the devil and all things evil/undead? For Shame! Halloween, or should I say All Hallows' Day, or should I further say, All Saints' Day -- is a Christian rooted holiday after all, take that Beelzebub! Anyhow, a holiday centered around sugary goodness can't be that bad now, can it?

For this year's Halloween festivities, Rach and I took our niece Garbrielle Alicia (Isha, pronounced, ee-sha, for short, but don't call her that in public), for some good 'ol fashion trick or treating in our new neighborhood. We figured that it made for a good opportunity for us to meet our new neighbors, most important of all, there would be a higher propensity for tasty treat givers in our new neighborhood as opposed to our old neighborhood. Don't get me wrong, I have some pretty fierce pride for my hood, but I've seen a steady and disappointing decline over the years of trick or treaters and homes that cater to them. There's many reasons for this I suppose: crime, the new conservative agenda, health nuts, etc ... but Halloween just doesn't feel the same anymore. In fact, there was many-a-case of double-dipping at the Quizon household because of the lack of Halloween spirit on Rachel's block that night. It's sad really. Why I remember how Halloween used to be when I was a kid ... (queue the harps...)

Dracula. Yes, the Transylvanian king of neck-suckery. That's what I transformed into every October 31st from the period of 1986 - 1990. Don't ask me why -- sue me for being lazy. Besides, Ephcula's real mission wasn't to win any costume contests, rather, it was to win the "who could get more candy" contest with my brothers. My tool of choice? A pillow-case. Yes, that's right, a bonafide pillow case -- only not for holding pillows, oh no my friends. I would transform that pillow case into a cornucopia of diabetic shock. No wussy pumpkin pails, those were strictly for weak-sauce amateurs of course. I would go so far as to draw a crude grid of our neighborhood, complete with trend analyses of stingy streets from past years, to ensure maximum coverage. Gotta give it up to a fat kid with some candy motivation, no? After the night's mission was complete, we would reconvene at the house to tally our spoils. The parentals would of course do the obligatory check for razor blades, thumbtacks and the like, but after that, the ritual of THE SORT would commence.

The following is how I would divide my pirate's booty (on a scale of eat that night, to give away to my cousins in the Philippines):

1. Chocolate - it was back then, and is still now, my favorite type of candy. I would take great care in separating out all the bite-size Snickers, Rolos, Crunch, M&M's, Three Muskateers, Milky Ways and if I was lucky, 100 Grand bars. I didn't care too much for the Almond-Joys (too sweet), Hershey bars/Kisses (too plain), or generic 99-cent store chocolate coins (too cheap), but at least they were still chocolate. I would make it a point to eat at least one of each kind of chocolate I had before I slept that night. MmmMmMMM.

2. Fruity (like Uly and Jurex) - I'd categorize most of the fruit tasting candy in this pile. Lots of Ferrara Pan stuff like Lemonheads, Red Hots and Boston Baked Beans. I'd also put the Willy Wonka branded candy here, my favorites of which were Gobstoppers, Laffy Taffy, Fun Dip, Nerds and Runts. Can't forget about the "get stuck in your teeth" stuff like Skittles, Starburst and Gummy Bears. SCRUMPTIOUS.

3. Con Salsa- this pile was reserved for candies made from our south of the border brethren. Because of the demographic of my area, this included mostly Mexican candy, you know the kind with the white wax paper wrapper that usually had some swirly colored substance inside of it. I wasn't the biggest fan of the stuff, but I knew that my Mexican carnales at school dug it, so I saved it just for them (you owe me Salvador and David). I did routinely keep the Tamarindo, or Mexican Tamarind candy, mostly for the novelty of pushing, scraping and eating the gunk through what I can only describe as a small sieve.

By the way, I propose that, candy that is made to be shared, such as Tamarindo and Ring Pops, rival only toilet bowl licking in their cleanliness. Sharing is not caring in this case young boys and girls, unless you also want to share in the wonderful world of Hepatitis or Mono. You've been warned!

4. Other - sometimes I have to wonder if people actually put some thought into what they give away during Halloween. Not so. Over the years I've discovered many a peculiar item in my pillow case. Some of the more interesting items include, toothbrushes, loose change, mini-bibles, toy soldiers, or my personal favorite, public service announcement pamphlets telling us youngins how sex is evil (crazy fundamentalists).

Back to present. Though Eesh didn't come close to being on par with my past trick or treating exploits, I'd say that with a little help from her auntie and uncle, she made out quite well in the candy department. She battled with a tad bit of stage fright when it came to knocking on doors and saying trick or treat, but our neighbors were happy to oblige her with sweet, sweet confections. I took my cut, of course, for being her chaperone for the night: a Baby Ruth and half a 100 Grand. Only two you say? Give me a break, I'm on a diet, I got a wedding next year remember?!

TRICK OR TREAT! Till next time ....