What an Eph'ed up name

Ephraim
Origin: Hebrew
Meaning: "Very Fruitful" (greeeeaaaatttt)
Rating: (according to babynamesworld.com): 2 out of 5 stars -- 62% say "I don't like it"

Filipinos take the responsibility of naming their kids very seriously. Names such as Dave, Bill or Doug just don't cut it where I'm from. To illustrate, let's take a sampling of some of my FilAm friends' names: Novette, Jesom, Jurex, Ulysses, Carlene, Romar, Aldrich ... the list goes on and on. Let's take a look at two typical Filipino naming conventions.

The first entails taking two names and smushing them together to output a new super duper name! Let's see this in action ...

• Robert + Mary = Romar
• Jose + Ricardo = Jurex
• Carlos + Marian = Marlo
• Horace + Mona = Homo (this one isn't true but it's funny haha)

Another commonality in the taxonomy of Filipino naming schemes includes the infamous "what my Mom calls me" name or pet name. Let's look into at this further ...

• Romar = Bimbo (sorry bro)
• Jesom = Som som boy
• Daniel (my bro) = Maruchan (japanese name for cup o' noodles)
• Me = Rai-Rai (so obviously because my Dad's name is Rey, and there's a permutation of his name in my name (rai) my pet name has to be Rai-Rai!)
• Other typical pet names include Bong, Charito, Baby, and the always reliable Jun-Jun.

The origins of this behavior are a mystery to me, though I have a feeling it partially has roots in the Spanish colonization of the Islands back in the day. I hypothesize that because of an inferiority complex, coupled with the advent of Catholicism, many native Pilipinos of the time sought to rid themselves of their 'native-ness' by adopting Christian and Spanish names. Also, in general, Filipinos have an affluence for all things dramatic and extravagant, a trait especially exhibited in the naming of children. My parents were no different.

My name was a sore topic when I was younger. My parents tried to shield me from my real name until my first day of school. I remember getting up being so excited to start my academic career and suddenly, my Mom turned my world upside down.

"Rai-rai, listen to me carefully. Your name is Ephraim."
"Mom, it sounds funny -- I don't even know how to pronounce it!!!! The kids are going to hate me!"

Welp, the kids didn't hate me per se. They liked me, but they liked making fun of my name even more. I've heard it all from "how's it going Mushroom" to, "what's up Afro" and my personal favorite -- "wuts up man/bro/dood/come again" (said with a puzzled look). The hidden shame of my childhood days rears it's ugly head from time to time, especially at places where you're required to give your name. Case in point, at Starbucks, when my name is called out for my Soy Vanilla Latte, Eric is what you'll hear.

In the end, I've grown to truly appreciate my name. I've come to terms with the fact that my name is what makes me, me. Heck, my name even has it's very own MySpace group (and to think I was all alone in this world)? I guess it could've been worse ... I could've had a girls name (Janel - sorry bro!) or have it rhyme with a condom brand (sorry Jurex)!