3-OH YEAAA

I'm a big Debbie-Downer when it comes to birthdays. Yes I'm one of those annoying people who doesn't like the spotlight of the birthday celebration, odd given my nature of being an accused attention junkie. I cringe when the obligatory monotone birthday song is sung by many a well meaning, yet sonically challenged coworker (though I do much enjoy the obligatory Costco chocolate cake -- YUMMO). I think it's rooted in yet another one of my many OCD's where if I think something's going to go bad, then it'll probably turn out good. For example, back in high-school, I used to think the world would end if I didn't turn the TV to channel 13 before I went out the door. Hey Doc, I'll have an order of Zanax with those fries please!

Summer is a busy time with my friends and I, given that the majority of us celebrate our birthdays during this time. I have the lofty task of being the first summer birthday, so there's some pressure to start off the birthday season with a bang. This year proved to be no different. I decided that for the big 3-0, I wanted to get the hellz out of Dodge and fly to the Hoo-Ray Area. Here's a rundown:

To thoroughly prepare Mr. Liver for the ethanol he was going to help me metabolize for the weekend, my friends who weren't going to be able to go up North with me (namely, Sonny, Daisy and Carlene) decided to treat me at one of my favorite restaurants: Morton's Steakhouse. I had a the Cajun Ribeye, medium-rare, (cuz well-done is for suckers) and I must say that it was AWESOME, even moreso after my 4th Jameson and Gingerale. We then decided to take the party to an even finer establishment, Tequila shots at the great TGI Fridays! Well after that, let's just say that Mr. Liver took a break that night and passed the torch to Mr. Toilet. Thanks Mr. Toilet!

The next night, attendance at my first ever white party (a party where you have to dress up in all-white clothes) at Farenheit in San Jose was planned. I didn't wanna look like a newb at the party, so I decided to do some research on YouTube, and try to copy the look of the Backstreet Boys in the I Want It That Way video (yes I'm officially a loser). Surprisingly, I found an outfit that was halfway decent, and so did most of the folks that we rolled with. Somehow, we looked like some sort of troupe of Filipino singing waiters, but we still looked cool IMHO. I was a bit gun-shy to drink that night and it paid off in spades - Look Ma, no hangover!



The next night, we took a ride on a party bus. For those of you not in the know, a party bus is essentially a chartered bus that chauffeurs you to and from a couple clubs all the while drinking en route. It's like drinking in your car, except without that pesky DUI (and no, http://www.ephmaniago.com/ does not condone that type of behavior kids). I was a little skeptical that I'd have a good time, because when we set off, I was already feeling sick. Not the good 'ol fashioned drunk sick your Dad's used to, but carsick, blehh. After shooting back a few, my calms were feared and a fun time was had by all.



In the end, whether your drinking at TGI Fridays, on a bus, or while dressed in white, the result is almost always the same =)

On my real birthday, Rach and I decidedly did something we were much better at than drinking ... MOUNTAIN CLIMBING - sike, eating of course. Rach made reservations at the often-hyped Crustaceans in Beverly Hills. According to their Website, an ambiguously "elegant" dress code is enforced, which pretty much means you're at the mercy of the maitre de as to your social status. It's retarded I know, but I sported a phatty tie and washed the Prius (it apparently worked). As for their food, they're renowned for their crab, prawns and garlic noodles. My review? Pretty yummeriffic, but not for the steep price. I'd say that you could probably get the same quality seafood for a 1/3rd of the price at Sam Woo's. At least for dessert we got one of those molten-lava chocolate cakes made gratis by Rach asking if it came with a candle. Always a recommended way to end any alcohol-fueled, milestone, era-ending, birthday weekend.

Reflections
Even though I talk a pile of dookie about turning 30, I've come to terms with it. At this point in my life, I've been blessed beyond measure with what I've achieved academically/professionally, I'm surrounded by friends and family who love and support me, I own my own house, and I tricked Rach into marrying me ... muah ha ha ha! I'm truly looking forward to this next chapter in my life and even though I might not be doing any more partying on a bus, I'm sure it'll be fun nonetheless.

Thirty-something, here I come!

One Foot in the Grave

Gahh ... just got back from my big birthday weekend bash in San Francisco and I just realized that I'm turning the big 3-0 in a couple hours. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. I'll talk to you about it tomorrow =)

dear blog reader ...

How've you been faithful blog readers? Yes I know, I've been a bad friend. I never keep in touch, although I always say that I will. I'm that old high school friend that you always seem to bump into while shopping at the mall who says, "bro give me your number so we can hang out!" Yet that call never comes. Don't you hate that?

Well, to bring you up to date, all I've really been up to for the past half year is planning my upcoming wedding, A.K.A saying yes to whatever Rach wants lol. Speaking of that, if you'd like to keep abreast on the upcoming union of the houses of Quizon and Maniago, kindly visit http://www.ephraimandrachel.com/. Visit often, and tell me what you think.

On a side note, I typically shun advertising on my site, but I implore you to visit and support my good friends' Sonny & Carlene's new vintage clothing site Mothballs. If not for the reputed "fine vintage clothing", then for the fine, fine Mothballs models. Yummo! Also, if you want to partake in some drunken debauchery with yours truly, go to the Mothballs launch party/fashion show tonight.

K, shameless plus is over. TTYL!

Rock the Vote

*RANT ALERT*

Nothing irks my ire more than listening to some whiny cat who complains about the current state of affairs, but yet does absolutely nothing about it (except hold a complain-o-thon of course). At least earn the right to be a whine-o by rockin' the vote today. This election, more than any in recent memory, has the potential to affect the political agenda for the U.S., and the rest of the world for that matter, for much of the foreseeable future. Pretty important don't you think? Remember, it only takes the apathy of a collective few to have things stay the status quo. So, irregardless of your political leanings, I implore you to 1) explore the issues, 2) find your polling place and 3) vote! *The aforementioned links are for my So*Cal buds, but you get the idea.

As an added bonus, you get a fun I Voted sticker which I rock hip-hop style on my shirt with a gangsta lean. So if anything, do it for fashion! :-D

VOTE or die.

Tasty Treats

I nearly fell off my rocker when I found out that a couple of my friends have never celebrated Halloween. Perhaps it's because of the negative connotation of Halloween being a celebration of the devil and all things evil/undead? For Shame! Halloween, or should I say All Hallows' Day, or should I further say, All Saints' Day -- is a Christian rooted holiday after all, take that Beelzebub! Anyhow, a holiday centered around sugary goodness can't be that bad now, can it?

For this year's Halloween festivities, Rach and I took our niece Garbrielle Alicia (Isha, pronounced, ee-sha, for short, but don't call her that in public), for some good 'ol fashion trick or treating in our new neighborhood. We figured that it made for a good opportunity for us to meet our new neighbors, most important of all, there would be a higher propensity for tasty treat givers in our new neighborhood as opposed to our old neighborhood. Don't get me wrong, I have some pretty fierce pride for my hood, but I've seen a steady and disappointing decline over the years of trick or treaters and homes that cater to them. There's many reasons for this I suppose: crime, the new conservative agenda, health nuts, etc ... but Halloween just doesn't feel the same anymore. In fact, there was many-a-case of double-dipping at the Quizon household because of the lack of Halloween spirit on Rachel's block that night. It's sad really. Why I remember how Halloween used to be when I was a kid ... (queue the harps...)

Dracula. Yes, the Transylvanian king of neck-suckery. That's what I transformed into every October 31st from the period of 1986 - 1990. Don't ask me why -- sue me for being lazy. Besides, Ephcula's real mission wasn't to win any costume contests, rather, it was to win the "who could get more candy" contest with my brothers. My tool of choice? A pillow-case. Yes, that's right, a bonafide pillow case -- only not for holding pillows, oh no my friends. I would transform that pillow case into a cornucopia of diabetic shock. No wussy pumpkin pails, those were strictly for weak-sauce amateurs of course. I would go so far as to draw a crude grid of our neighborhood, complete with trend analyses of stingy streets from past years, to ensure maximum coverage. Gotta give it up to a fat kid with some candy motivation, no? After the night's mission was complete, we would reconvene at the house to tally our spoils. The parentals would of course do the obligatory check for razor blades, thumbtacks and the like, but after that, the ritual of THE SORT would commence.

The following is how I would divide my pirate's booty (on a scale of eat that night, to give away to my cousins in the Philippines):

1. Chocolate - it was back then, and is still now, my favorite type of candy. I would take great care in separating out all the bite-size Snickers, Rolos, Crunch, M&M's, Three Muskateers, Milky Ways and if I was lucky, 100 Grand bars. I didn't care too much for the Almond-Joys (too sweet), Hershey bars/Kisses (too plain), or generic 99-cent store chocolate coins (too cheap), but at least they were still chocolate. I would make it a point to eat at least one of each kind of chocolate I had before I slept that night. MmmMmMMM.

2. Fruity (like Uly and Jurex) - I'd categorize most of the fruit tasting candy in this pile. Lots of Ferrara Pan stuff like Lemonheads, Red Hots and Boston Baked Beans. I'd also put the Willy Wonka branded candy here, my favorites of which were Gobstoppers, Laffy Taffy, Fun Dip, Nerds and Runts. Can't forget about the "get stuck in your teeth" stuff like Skittles, Starburst and Gummy Bears. SCRUMPTIOUS.

3. Con Salsa- this pile was reserved for candies made from our south of the border brethren. Because of the demographic of my area, this included mostly Mexican candy, you know the kind with the white wax paper wrapper that usually had some swirly colored substance inside of it. I wasn't the biggest fan of the stuff, but I knew that my Mexican carnales at school dug it, so I saved it just for them (you owe me Salvador and David). I did routinely keep the Tamarindo, or Mexican Tamarind candy, mostly for the novelty of pushing, scraping and eating the gunk through what I can only describe as a small sieve.

By the way, I propose that, candy that is made to be shared, such as Tamarindo and Ring Pops, rival only toilet bowl licking in their cleanliness. Sharing is not caring in this case young boys and girls, unless you also want to share in the wonderful world of Hepatitis or Mono. You've been warned!

4. Other - sometimes I have to wonder if people actually put some thought into what they give away during Halloween. Not so. Over the years I've discovered many a peculiar item in my pillow case. Some of the more interesting items include, toothbrushes, loose change, mini-bibles, toy soldiers, or my personal favorite, public service announcement pamphlets telling us youngins how sex is evil (crazy fundamentalists).

Back to present. Though Eesh didn't come close to being on par with my past trick or treating exploits, I'd say that with a little help from her auntie and uncle, she made out quite well in the candy department. She battled with a tad bit of stage fright when it came to knocking on doors and saying trick or treat, but our neighbors were happy to oblige her with sweet, sweet confections. I took my cut, of course, for being her chaperone for the night: a Baby Ruth and half a 100 Grand. Only two you say? Give me a break, I'm on a diet, I got a wedding next year remember?!

TRICK OR TREAT! Till next time ....

The Evil House of China

A couple weeks ago, I watched the much anticipated (by me) The Grudge 2 and I have to say it didn't disappoint. I am now officially scared of all the peoples and peoples who look like the peoples of Japan. Rach came with me too and was coincidentally in the same theatre, but she in fact watched another movie named Watching the Arm of My Sweater Whilst Asking My Fiancee What's Going on in The Grudge 2. Yea I heard that movie sucked BTW haha. The movie definitely prepped me for the gang's recent trip to Knott's Scary Farm where they had a special Grudge 2 Maze. It makes me want to fee fee in my fanties just thinking about it. *Shudders*.

In the spirit of this past Friday the 13th, and it being Halloween and all, I thought I'd create a special holiday post retelling one of my favorite spooktakular stories. My Auntie told me this story when I was a kid and apparently it's true. Read on, IF YOU DARE. PUAH HA HA HA!?!

THE EVIL HOUSE OF CHINA

Once upon a time, in a small non-descrip town, on a cracked earthen road in rural China, a humble farmer named Wang makes his way on his long journey home. Given Wang's exhaustion after an unusually hectic, but prosperous day, he finds that his worn-out knotty legs have brought him but a quarter of the way back to his small home two cities away. The advent of the setting sun, coupled with unusually inclement weather have prompted Wang to seek quarter for the night. Too poor to pay for a room at the nearest inn, Wang endeavours to rely upon the kindness of the townsfolk along the earthen road to provide him with shelter for the night.

Knock, knock.

"Sir, could you please spare an extra room or your stable for that matter, for this poor farmer?" Wang pleaded. "I am far from home, and I surely cannot travel any further this rainy night."

The owner of the house scoffed at Wang, with his nose held high.

"You peasant, you smell of garlic and oxen. Your stench will annoy even my pigs. Away with you!"

House after house, the reply was the same. Would Wang find shelter this night? Thoroughly dismayed, Wang happened upon the very last house for miles. It was a lonely house, made of mud, weathered by the winds of neglect. Wang, in desperation, knocks on the door of the house.

Knock, knock.

An ancient lady peers through a crack in the door, her countenance as aged as the house in which she resides. She proceeded to cup her ear in an effort to hear the stranger at the door better.

"Ma'am, you are my last hope for finding shelter on this night. Please have pity on this humble farmer and provide me quarter ... I beg you." Wang beeseched.

"But of course you can my son", the lady reassured, ushering Wang inside the house. "You're welcome to stay in the room down the hall, second door on the right."

"You have saved me madame - surely the Gods will smile upon your kindness!" Wang exclaimed. Full of good cheer, Wang bid the lady a good night and closed the door to the room.

Upon entering the room, Wang found that a simple straw mat was set upon the earthen floor, complete with a tattered quilt and pillows filled with chicken feathers. Wang, not hesitating to allow this day to pass, laid his bone-weary body down on the straw mat to what he thought would be a well deserved rest.

Only minutes after Wang laid his head down on the mat, a faint sound, the source of which Wang could not discern, seemed to come from the room next door. Wang dismissed this disruption as tricks of the howling wind outside and tried that much harder to go back to his dreams of the new harvest. However, the harder he tried to go back to sleep, the louder the sound became. Curiousity got the better of Wang, who at this point got up and cupped his hand to the wall that was shared with the room next door. Strangely, Wang heard the muffled sound of music with a glint of what sounded like laughter. Still curious, given that the bedroom walls were made of mud, Wang poked a finger sized peep-hole into the room next door and peered through it. What he saw through the peep-hole was a strange sight to behold: a young, bare-naked woman stood there dancing to the music, the source of which Wang still could not discern.

"That's odd, I could've sworn that the old lady lived here by herself." Wang, dismissing the scene as a trick of his exhausted mind, once again, laid down on the straw mat to try and go back to sleep. Yet the sound of the music remained, this time louder and more hypnotic, almost as if emanating from his very head. Wang, in a fit of frustration, went back to same peep-hole he bore earlier and took another look. This time, however, he saw something he was not expecting. Hoping, secretly, to see the young woman again, he instead saw the color red, and only the color red, through the peep hole. He looked away, rubbed his eye, and then looked through the peep-hole again -- the color red was all he saw.

"Something strange is going on here." Muttered Wang. "First thing tomorrow morning, I'm going to have to bring this up to the old lady." Finally, Wang was able to fall asleep a mere two hours before sunrise.

The next day, Wang awoke to the smell of rice porridge and dried fish being prepared in the kitchen. The old lady bid him good morning and implored him to eat. After Wang had his fill, he decided to confront the lady about the strange goings-ons from the previous night.

"Madame, thank you so much for your hospitality. I did want to bring something to your attention however." Wang recalled. "I believe I saw your daughter in the room next to the one I slept in, dancing late into the night with music blaring from a source unknown. It was quite difficult to get a good night's rest with all that racket."

Suddenly the old lady's face turned a sallow white as if she had just seen a ghost.

"I am sorry sir, but that is impossible." The old lady said sadly, but curtly. "My daughter has been dead for over 20 years. She was born with an abnormality you see. The townsfolk would constantly torment her for it. She eventually committed suicide to free herself from her tormentors ... all this becase of her one red eye. "

THE END

HAPPY HALLOWEENIE Y'ALL - be safe.

Summer Hiatus = Over

As I thaw from the suspended animation that has come to typify my blog this past summer, a faint chill tingles my newly shaven head. My favorite season is here: Autumn! Just in case you were wondering, whenever Autumn gets picked on by the other seasons because of his peculiar sounding name, he goes by the much more gangsta: Fall! Who wants to mess with Fall huh? Spring with your flowers and showers? Didn't think so punk!

Speaking of seasons ... hmmm, summer. Where in the world did you go? Down super busy street next to no time for blogging lane, that's where. Seems many of you have missed me during my summer blogging hiatus. You can tell by some of the spirited comments and IMs I've been receiving as of late:

Well come on! What are you waiting for? Give some of your... I think the.. uh.. "Gangsta" way of saying it is "NorCal," (maybe?) some love and post something!

I'm tired of cockroaches.

I'm about to give up on your blog.

Ouch.

I smell something, and it's not the litterbox ... it's my readers' bile-filled ANGST. Hopefully the following will cheer you up a bit. Though I will undoubtedly post more about some of the more significant moments of this summer's past, I've decided to give you a quick pictoral rundown of this summer's events in the interim. Hover over each pic for some gripping color commentary from yours truly:



Fast forward to today, and voila, you're all caught up. Till next time!

Next time on TGI EPH:

Many of you will be familiar with my next post as I tell it at least once every Halloween season. It's a story so blood-curdingly frightening, it's made lesser men puke, pee and cry -- ALL AT ONCE. Ahhhhhhhh! Make sure to visit again on Friday the 13th when we take a trip to the Evil House of China. Dun dun dunnnnnn!?!